Withdrawal Symptoms Methadone - I feel like I’m being used?

I recently moved out with my boyfriend and his father came along. Now, normally that would be an awkward situation, but his dad is older and sick with cancer. Anyway, this was our first month out and his dad paid for the deposit and first month’s rent. A week before we were set to move out, I found out my boyfriend is addicted to oxycontin. I know, I shouldn’t have moved out with him.. but the agreement was that he would go to rehab. He truly does want to change (his appt. for assessment is Wednesday.. woo hoo!!). Since his dad used his entire check to move in for the month, I’ve been footing the bill on any supplies we needed to fix little things in the house, groceries, my boyfriend totalled his car right before we moved so he uses mine when I’m working… so gas too, DP&L deposit ($300 on that alone), and on top of that, if he needs to fill his dad’s prescription I’m giving him money for that too. Now, I know it looks like my beau is a total loser, and maybe he is… but I see so much potential and he really has the biggest heart. Here’s another downside…. in order for him to make it over the past month to the assessment, I’ve been giving him money for methadone so his withdrawal symptoms aren’t as severe. The whole reason I’m writing this is partially to vent, but also to see what other people think of my situation. Today, for example, he picked me up for lunch. I got home, did dishes, and while I was eating lunch he asked me for $60 for his dad’s prescription. This was after he moped the whole way home and was in a foul mood and I asked him to tell me what was bothering him. I told him “no” ultimately because with groceries and gas there was no way I could make it to my next check if I gave him that. Not only that, but I gave him $40 on Saturday for his methadones and he was supposed to pay me back the same day and didn’t. Anyway, he gets ridiculously mad, throws this thing at the wall, and then calls me a bitch and goes upstairs. I just got in my car and drove myself back to work.

I just want feedback. I feel like I’m being used constantly, but I know things could get better. Is it really worth sticking around to see? I’ve made it this far…

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Tagged as: Amp, Appt, Awkward Situation, Bitch, Cancer, Dad, Dishes, Downside, Foul Mood, Groceries, Heart, Loser, Lunch, Methadone, Methadones, Money, Oxycontin, Reason, Rent, Whole Way Home, Withdrawal Symptoms

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Get out. Get out now. I say this to you with all of the hindsight of someone who has been there. The first red flag is that you dated long enough to decide to move in together, yet you didn't know he had a drug addiction. This is not a good basis for a relationship. What else don't you know? People will tell you to talk to him and try to tell him about your feelings, but the fact is he doesn't care about your feelings. He's acting like a child throwing things and calling names to get his way. He will be perfectly justified, in his mind, because he has a sick dad and is trying to quit drugs for you. Bull. He will use your responsibility and good heart to drag you in the mire with him and it will only get worse. The next thing will be he has to do the drugs because you make him so mad and he doesn't want to be like that with you. He will then start running around to "get you back" for not supporting him. You are down to practical concerns and protecting yourself.

The practical concerns are things like is your name on the lease? I'm sure it is because these types always ensure that you're responsible, not to mention you seem to be the only one working. My advice is to call the police the next time he starts so that you will have some backup to break your lease. Most towns also have a free legal advice center where you can ask questions. If you can't readily find it online or in the phone book, call your local social services office.

Do you really want this for the rest of your life? I'm assuming you're fairly young. Look at the situation today then picture what it's going to be like in 3 years when he still hasn't quit the drugs and he and his father are still sucking you dry while he gets your car impounded when he gets picked up for a speeding ticket and they find drugs.

Now picture yourself in a normal, mutually supportive relationship where you both pay the bills, there's no drug addictions to be worked out, and your significant other tells you important things like he has a massive addiction.

My heart goes out to you. Get out now, though, because this is only going to get worse. Find a way to go and let them worry about them. It may cost you money, but in the long run it will cost you a whole lot more.
Falcon_01

You have a heart of gold, and he is trashing it. You deserve someone better than that... someone who won't call you a name or throw things- which is abuse.

It's one thing to be so giving and supportive to a partner in time of need, but another to put up with being walked all over on top of it. If he were truly working to change, then he wouldn't be abusive towards you. My suggestion is that if he is ever going to have a serious and healthy relationship with anyone, he needs to clean himself up FIRST, and not put that burden on another person.

There are government programs out there for him and his father. You don't have to support them, or feel guilty about wanting more out of life than being used. It's important to feel needed, but not healthy to live in this cycle of abuse.

Just think, you're depriving a nice guy somewhere out there of that heart of gold, as you devote it to an ungrateful jerk. Why would you want to do a thing like that?

My soon-to-be ex-spouse was going through medical issues, and I stood by her through everything (her ex left her because he couldn't handle it). Well, I was sure I could, and I gave 110% to her for over 5 years, and helped her on her feet, and once she was there- I suddenly stopped being needed and was told she didn't love me the way a spouse should. It's ok to realize you deserve better, but don't forget that all the while you're hanging on to someone who walks all over you, there's someone else somewhere out there who is more deserving of your attention and love.